The past couple of days, I've been sewing like crazy and watching Dead Like Me.I have to say, I am REALLY enjoying this show. I'm really wondering why it got cancelled after two seasons though. It's so sad to see quality television like that go, and reality shows like The Jersey Shore come in. Peoples' interests these days have gotten so skewed, and the entertainment industry has to swoop down to their level to spark their interest. Those who enjoy that quality entertainment have to suffer. There's not many of those people left because they probably all gave in.
Anyway, I'm rambling. No need to get into that kind of discussion now.

As the days are closing in, I'm trying to accomplish as much as I can before classes start. I want my break to last longer; I'm not ready to be bombarded with work. But at the same time, I DO want it to come. I want it to come and go. Aside from the sewing and watching, I've been coming closer to what I can do to make myself happier. When I did the math last semester for how many more years of schooling I'd need to accomplish, I felt so far from my dreams.

I'm not saying my first two years of college were a waste, but it feels like it sometimes. It held me back. Now here I am in my fourth year finishing up my second associates degree. I feel like I've been idle. I see all friends and acquaintances moving forward, graduating this year. But here I am still sitting in the same school ready to go on to my bachelors: another two years. Six years I'll be in the same school. Six. I feel like a super-senior. I am beyond irritated. But then again, if I didn't go down this path, I would have never concluded what direction and career I want. I guess this delay has given me a chance to think things over. And the more I think about it, the more it falls into place.

Things are starting to make sense and as each day passes, I'm getting closer to achieving my dreams. Yeah, everyone has obstacles to overcome, but I'm just anxious to jump over all of them. Two and a half more years I can go to graduate school. Two and a half more years I imagine is where my life will start: the subject I'll be focusing on, a new location, and leaving all my bad memories behind. I look forward to starting over. It's something I've been dreaming of for a long time, and finally it's looking promising.

I'm absolutely thrilled that good things are finally headed my way, but at the same time, I'm terrified. I'm afraid to go down my new path alone, but I know it'll make me stronger.
Two and a half years is quite a bit of time, so I'm stressing over something that I have time to worry about, I know. I just like looking ahead to make sure things go my way. And if not, I'll have enough time to push it in the direction I want them to go. I'm just afraid of what will come; the unknown. Fear of the unknown, I guess. I guess we'll see what happens!

Random thoughts and rambles, but it feels good to get out what I'm trying to express in writing.