I feel like it's not very often you come across a blogger that shares failures - or more like setbacks (a less harsh term than 'failure'). If you think about it, most blogs these days showcase the positive that people want to share. Not the negatives. Not that I'm looking to single myself out, but I've come across a recent setback that is making me question every move I make and I'm feeling comfortable enough to share.

My dream was to move across country to a unique city where I can feel like myself, and Portland sounded like that kind of city for me. Or so I thought. I've come to realize I was chasing a dream and I thought a big move would help me get a better grasp of the life I wanted. I had big hopes and promised myself I would make it work.

Turns out I couldn't actually make it work. I fixated on a place thinking it would change my life, and as much as it helped me figure out what I really want, it doesn't seem that Portland is the place to make it happen. This all occurred to me during a long personal thinking session I had with myself since I have so much time to myself these days.

I guess I find it kind of perfect this occurred to me right in time for the new year. There's nothing like that fresh feeling a new year can bring. I'm grateful I made this move as there's nothing worse than that dreaded "what if". I tested myself and I know now that I can handle living out of my comfort zone, and I'm excited to test myself again in the future as I do plan on bringing life to a new level and try out new things for 2015. I don't feel limited anymore and I want see what I can do with my life and how to make it so much better without fixating on things.

With that said, January will be my last month living in Portland in which I plan on heading back home to good ole New York to start fresh and go through that experience of "finding myself". I've seemed to join the mid-20s-straight-out-of-college-feeling-lost club. And I am no longer afraid to admit to myself that I really have no idea what I'm doing and I'm still trying to figure it out. Isn't that the first step to be able to get past something, recognizing what the problem is?

Every so often, I come across fortune cookies that tells me reassuring fortunes. I like this fortune and it's relevant to how I've been feeling lately. The future will hold great things, or at least I hope so. We'll see! And for sure I do plan on sharing it. Life is a fun quest that should be shared, especially both ups and downs.