I've never felt so uninspired in my life.
I haven't been in the mood to post about anything lately. I am still going through my dilemma about not having music as easily accessible as it was when I was living at home, so my days have basically been uber silent. (Don't get me wrong, I know how easy it is to play music on my laptop, but I loved my boombox. I sound so ridiculous saying that.) I don't leave the house too much, and I can't seem to get myself out of bed before 1 pm. I could go on and on about how my life has changed so drastically. But if I can be honest, I feel like I'm fallen in a ditch. Call it depression or whatever you want, but it's been taking a while for me to adjust and it definitely has taken a toll on me. I question if this is what rock bottom feels like. I've been deeply considering changing the situation, or sort of 'undoing' things. I definitely don't regret this move, because as so many people told me, if it doesn't work out, I can easily come back home and know that I did it. I won't ever be wondering that dreaded "what if".
This is all talk as of now anyway. But I'm seriously considering leaving before I fall deeper into this hole.

Anyway, now that the super honest part of how I've been feeling has been shared, I'll say that I just haven't had much going on for me right now. I think the issue of having too much time on my hands makes me not utilize my days correctly. I've been wasting so much time doing who knows what, and I feel so guilty not posting, but I just don't know what to post about. I've been working on projects here and there, but they're all in progress and nothing is completed and I haven't had much motivation to finish them.

I thought maybe changing up the blog layout would be a good idea to keep me busy and create something fresh, but I figured that's too much work right now. Then I thought maybe tweaking a few things here and there.
I'm not a big fan of taking pictures of myself, but I thought it was about time to change the top photo of me, as that was taken a year ago. I did it. I sucked it up and played with the self timer, and I concluded I look depressed in 90% of the photos I took. Honest portrayal of how I feel. But not really welcoming for a top image on a blog. Dilemma.

This one screams "I've been crying an hour before taking this photo. Look at the bags under my eyes". I scrapped that one. I didn't have much of a selection, so I picked the image where you saw half my face and can't really see too much emotion. Played it safe.
I also liked how I edited the initial image, so I followed the same scheme.
Minor blog change, but at least it's something.

I'm hoping to get out of this rut soon. I'll be going home for a few days for the holidays. I'll be home two weeks. A good amount of time to recuperate, or it might be just enough to be a tease. Either way, like I said, I'm considering changing this scenario, even if it feels like I've regressed. I just can't live like this anymore.
I apologize for getting too personal. I like to keep this blog an outlet for me to post about projects and crafts and positive things, but my life hasn't been too enjoyable to post uplifting things. I just hate not posting.