I've finally found a good time to sit, reflect, and post. The past few days have been wild. From all the shopping, to building, to unpacking; I'm exhausted. I was lucky to have my mom and brother fly out with me to help out. It made adjusting a little easier having familiar faces here to help. Unfortunately I'm still waiting for the majority of my things to arrive. That's the downside of not being in control of moving your own boxes out. But a road trip from one coast to the other was a little out of question.

I'm not gonna lie. I know I've been out here less than a week so far, but I miss my home, family, friends, my room. Even when it looked like a crazy cluttered mess like the photo above. It was my space. My things. I'm happy to finally move out of my parent's home, but it's going to be a crazy period of adjusting. I'm no longer in my comfort zone.

There's still quite a bit of physical things I left behind, especially a lot of personal projects. In freshman year of high school, we had to sculpt a mask of some sorts. I was in love with The Crow movie, so I based it after that. I also went through this weird phase with The Birthday Massacre band, and imitated and created bunny ears that the singer wore in one of the music videos. I mounted them on my wall after I redid my room three years ago.

Half of my room is raspberry colored, the other half super light blue-gray. I hung up my art and other goods on the wall next to my bed. I love how simplistic it looks on the super light wall. These are my interests and I was happy to create and organize a fun wall of things that represent my interests pretty well.

I also had this mirror for the longest time. Probably ever since I moved into my very own bedroom back when I was twelve. Before, it used to be white with blue and green squares. It was pretty boring. I went through a huge decoupage phase during that time and I completely smothered it in paper scraps and gold paint.

I had to take a picture of my room all cleared out. I didn't transport any furniture which is why my room still looks pretty filled up, even though I did pack a hella amount of things with me. This to me actually looks pretty damn empty which is crazy.

These were all parts of my room that I loved. For three years I've been planning this move, but during those three years is when a lot of new interests developed and I really made my room super cozy, and yes, super cluttered. But it was still my space, and I'm hoping to adjust real soon to carry that comfortable and settled in feeling here.

My brother posted this panorama progression on Instagram, which I stole from him. As I said, I'm still waiting for most of my possessions to find their way round here, but this is a sneak peak before I officially move myself in and organize.

There's a lot that I limited myself to when living in New York. Looking back on it now, living close to the city, I should have been more active in the communities. But at the same time, if I had a second chance I probably wouldn't have done all that much more. I had a goal in mind: to move out of state. I felt the burden of a time crunch, so why join anything when I would have to leave pretty soon?

That was my state of mind. Probably not the best excuse. I should have enjoyed what New York had to offer, and the truth is I did! I loved New York, and I participated in what I could handle. But I do know I could have done more.

Now that I'm finally moving to my dream city, I no longer see an expiration date. Why not actually do things and enjoy life, right?

I made a list of stupid little goals and things I want to do in Portland, hah. I'm going to keep this list handy and make sure they make appearances in future posts.

So,
01. My main priority is to get a job. I may have some cool things rolling my way. I'm not stressing though; I'm feeling confident!
02. Moving to a pretty active and nature filled city, I obviously want to get more into nature. Every time I've visited, I loved all the hikes I went on. More hikes, please!
03. On the topic of being active, I think it's pretty mandatory I get into biking. I can't even tell you the last time I've been on one. I'm moving to the biking capital. I should jump on board the biking trail.
04. About the transportation, I love public transportation which is why I haven't gotten my driver's license yet. Public trans has been too convenient for me, especially traveling to/from/all-around NYC 5 days a week since graduating high school. I just need to pass my road test.
05. Another important goal is to make new friends. So far I've gotten familiar with my neighbors. They're all great. I'm not too concerned I won't make new friends; I feel like I'm still at an age where it's still possible.
06. I want to attend a lot of events - concerts, festivals, local events, anything that will keep me busy and socializing. In New York, I rarely attended anything. From what I see, Portland has some very interesting events.
07. Artsy and active things are also on the menu. I want to become a member in some awesome art studios that fill up the city, and even participate in craft fairs. I also want to join the roller derby so bad. Are there such things as clubs in the adult world?

08. I've been exploring and trying different foods. LOVE Indian cuisine. Portland has so much variety, and they're big into food trucks. My taste buds are going to go on a fantastic journey for sure.
09. Speaking of journeys, I'm hoping so many road trips will happen. Long Island is sorta a trap; 3/4 of directions you go, you hit water. Not the same case in any other state outside of New York. I'm excited to have the option to explore without constantly running out of land.
10. I also am excited to just explore the inner city and go on adventures right around the corner. There's so much to do waiting to be discovered.
11. I've spoken about guitar things a few times before. Unfortunately my guitar won't be moving due to space issues. I'm considering buying a new guitar out there, but it won't happen for a while until I settle. I want to get back into playing the guitar again. Like, DIVE into actually learning.
12. I also plan on being in full craft mode, depending on how much free time I have outside of jobs of course. I want to do so much. Not shipping out all my art supplies, I'm excited to just focus and use what I have.

Bring it on, Portland!

I'm kinda digging the idea of doing some color block posts. I enjoy gathering same color objects including clothing that I fixed up. I can talk about colors all day. I JUST LOVE COLORS DAMMIT.
They'll be occasional, random, and so far all have been unintentional.

This forest green block came accidentally when I bought new headphones that matched my laptop case to a T. A few weeks ago my earbuds stopped working. No surprise there; they never seem to last long. I had borrowed earbuds from my brother, the standard Apple buds. The worst. Earbuds never seem to sit in my ears comfortably and always fall out. I decided to give in and buy headphones. I browsed for snazzy ones more on the cheap side, and had ordered Urbanears in clover. It's been two weeks. So far so great!

Seeing those two match made me think, COLOR BLOCK. I remembered my forest green long sleeve that I decorated. It's not as saturated, but matched my Y.R.U. boots pretty perfect.

I've been on a major green kick lately. When I browsed for headphones, I for the life of me couldn't decide on a color. Didn't want anything too light/bright because it would contrast way too much with my dark hair. Didn't want anything too dark/black because lack of color is no fun. The clover I thought was a good middle for me.
And it makes me want to dye my hair green again. We'll see about that.

Bottom line: green is great.

Five days and counting. I'm still on a mission to try and do as much as I can before I leave.
Saturday, I went out to eastern Long Island to participate in some pumpkin picking and other autumn things with friends whom I haven't seen in a while.

We stopped at two farms. We browsed all edibles available, and everyone had some sweet corn. It was quite the windy day, but it was the most perfect fall day to travel.

My friend's son Ben ran around and enjoyed everything surrounding him. The funniest part of the day was when we introduced him to Popeye, but he just kept asking where the "pot pie" was.

Pumpkins, apple cider donuts (most delicious donuts ever!), corn, and friends. Best autumn day I've had in a while.

One week left. That's where I'm at.
I've been making my rounds, seeing all the friends and family I can see. I basically keep hearing the same thing from them all. Yea, it's repetitive, but I really don't mind hearing it. Glad to know we're all on the same page.
Yes, I'm following my dreams. Yes, it's better to know I did it than to have that lingering "what if". Yes, I do have a home to come back to if it doesn't work out.

What I keep thinking about is how will this change me? Will I change for better or worse? Throwing yourself into a new environment completely alone can do wonders on a person, whether it be good or bad. I'm just afraid I may take a turn for the worse, OR things may be absolutely wonderful. Who knows.
I guess I just wanted to make a random list of things about myself for myself that I can refer to. Is it silly to be thinking that way? I don't want to sound dramatic, but I guess I just want reminders even if this list is a bit on the trivial side.

                  (Photo courtesy of USPS. Passport renewal is currently in progress.)

01. I love Bill Murray.
02. I’ve been hand sewing since I was 12. I just got a sewing machine and learned how to use it less than a year ago. Can’t tell you how much more easy life has gotten.
03. I love knee high socks. I also have a large collection of fun socks. Solid colored socks don’t really do it for me.
04. I love everything red velvet and cotton candy.
05. I have a weird obsession with Fabio.
06. I wish I could be platinum blonde. Even if it was just for a day.
07. I so very much connect with Radiohead’s ‘Let Down’.
08. Stella Doro’s 'angel wings' are my favorite cookies ever, and I’m so disappointed that they have been discontinued.
09. I’m very materialistic. I'm not afraid to admit it.
10. I can’t seem to grow out my bangs. I always end up cutting them short. They have taken over my life, and my face.
11. I’ve been dyeing my hair since I was eleven.
12. Shoegaze is my favorite music genre. The more noise, the better.
13. I hate the beach, but I have a thing for aquatic life.
14. I own blue lipstick; I wish it could be an everyday lipstick but I don't think it can even be an occasional color. It’s hard to walk outside and feel comfortable when people are staring. I get super self conscious.
15. I picked up the guitar when I was twelve. I know how to play decent but I feel like I haven't progressed since school and ‘adulthood’ has kept me fully occupied.
16. I find it hard to connect with people in general. I feel like that played a role in why I didn’t have many friends growing up, which is why I became so damn artsy. Needed something to fill my time.
17. Gwen Stefani was and still is my idol. She’s perfect.
18. Never really liked school. I have a case of selective memory. History was especially tough for me because I didn't care enough.
19. I despised the color pink up until a year ago. I guess I was afraid it would make me too feminine, but I have grown to really love the color.
20. I have way too much patience.

Another fact to throw in: Third Eye Blind's first album was my first rock CD way back when it came out. They will forever hold a special place in my heart, and I know I will most likely put them on repeat when I move out. It brings me to a comfortable place.
This song is my fave fave fave. Cue in the sobfest.

Here's a #tbt post! I was doing major packing over the weekend and had to filter through my shoes to decide what to take (~so many shoes~). As I was opening up shoe boxes and clearing spaces out, I stumbled upon these sneakers I made back in college, I think more specifically during freshman year.

I think I've mentioned before that I was a big No Doubt fan? Yep, since I was 10 - super big fan. I was so psyched when they came back from hiatus in 2009. I saw them perform live at the Today Show, which was their first live performance phasing out of their hiatus. It was interesting as my friend and I were on line like crazies the night before the show to somewhat guarantee we'd get a decent spot near the stage. So many stories from that night; it was quite an experience.

Around that time, I listened to their backlog way too much. Return Of Saturn is my favorite ND album. To show my excitement when they came back, I had lots of crafty No Doubt nights.

I went sneaker shopping at Kmart. I wanted sneakers with a lot of surface area, so I found these strange sneakers in the little boys section (I was going through a weird transition in college. I didn't know how to dress and/or shop). I am a fan of Tulip fabric paint, so I used colors from their album cover to paint Saturn on the sides of the sneakers.

The pair also had the brand logo on the velcro flaps. It was strange, and I didn't like it. I manage to roughly sew black fabric on top of them to cover it up. I meant to sew the fabric to use it as a base to paint more onto the sneakers, but I'm happy I never ended up doing that. I think I wanted to paint the band's logo, but it would have been overkill. I think it's cool with just the saturns on the sides.

Thinking back to these days crack me up. It was definitely a weird time in my life. But these sneakers are weird in a cool way, I think. I don't plan on bringing them to Portland with me right away, but I do plan on packing them when I come home next time around.

My final days around these parts are approaching; it's now less than two weeks remaining. I find myself now fitting in my 'lasts'. Just last night I went to see The Raveonettes live, which will be my last show in New York for a while.

I've mentioned them in quite a number of posts. Like, SO many. Out of all music I listen to, I am the happiest that The Raveonettes was my last NY show. They were the best way to go out with a bang as they have been one of my favorite bands for about ten years now.
I almost didn't attend last night's show because of emotional reasons which is just dumb. I talked myself into it especially since I see they aren't playing Portland this tour, or anytime soon it looks like.
Clearly it was a great decision since I walked away with an amazing memorable night.

Videos from the show are slowly surfacing which makes me excited. But in the meantime, here's their newest video which is super cool.

I can't stop expressing my love for this band. They hold a deep place in my heart, and will forever. I really do feel all the emotional bits now since 'lasts' are in discussion. Oi vey.